Starting Over. Again.

So here I am again.

Run coach. Mr. Marathon Guy. Healthy. Fit.

At least, that’s what it might look like from the outside.

I wrote about starting over before. About how hard it was to admit that being a coach didn’t mean I had this all figured out. About finding myself in the same place as the people I wanted to help.

And now we’re starting over again.

That last word is hard. Again. There’s so much judgment packed into it. How many times do you have to learn the same thing? How can you know what helps and still find yourself needing to begin?

I have trouble typing those words. I did the first time, too.

There’s more to this than running. There are parts of taking care of ourselves that don’t show up in a training log. Becoming healthier doesn’t make the rest of life simple. Knowing how to coach someone through a hard stretch doesn’t spare you from having your own.

I don’t have a neat ending for this. I’m writing from the part where you have to begin.

The next meal. The next walk. The next run, when you’re ready.

Small things. Familiar things. Things that still count, even when you’ve done them before.

If you’re here too, I hope you can give yourself a little room. You don’t have to explain everything that brought you back to this point. You can take care of yourself today without having the whole story figured out.

I’m starting over too.

Again.